Grief Is Not Moving On - It’s Moving With Love: What Helps When You’re Grieving a Pet
Learning to Carry Love Differently
When someone says, “You just need to move on,” it can feel like a second loss.
Because when we grieve a pet, we’re not only missing their presence — we’re grieving the love that lived in our everyday moments. The quiet footsteps on the floor. The head resting on your lap. The routines that shaped your days.
Grief doesn’t ask us to let go. It invites us to learn how to carry that love differently.
At Pause for Paws, we call this stage Adjustment — a time for understanding, reflection, and gentle reconstruction of life after loss. It’s the in-between: you’re not where you were, but you’re not yet where you’ll be.
Why “Moving On” Doesn’t Work
Traditional grief messages — “time heals all wounds,” “you’ll get over it” — can make people feel like they’re failing if the sadness lingers. But the truth is, love doesn’t vanish with loss.
Grief is love, looking for somewhere to go.
The goal isn’t to forget — it’s to integrate. To find a way for that love to live with you, not without you.
Healing happens when we make space for that bond, not when we erase it.
Practical Reflection: The Gratitude Letter
Try this:
Write a letter to your pet beginning with “Thank you for…”
List memories, lessons, and moments you’re grateful for — no matter how small.
When you’re ready, read it aloud. You can do this privately, with a loved one, or even outside in nature.
Why it helps: Gratitude activates brain regions that foster resilience and release oxytocin — the same “bonding” hormone that strengthens emotional recovery.
Finding Small Anchors in Your Day
After a pet passes, our daily structure often disappears with them.
Reclaiming rhythm — even in the smallest ways — can bring stability.
Try these gentle practices:
Light a Candle or Incense: Choose a time each day to pause and honour your pet’s memory.
Go for a Short Walk: Movement helps the body regulate grief hormones like cortisol.
Talk About Them: Share stories with someone who understands — saying their name keeps them present.
Grief is unpredictable. Having small rituals gives it a safe place to land.
Practical Activity: The Comfort Box
Create a physical space for memory.
Find a small box or basket. Add items that connect you to your pet — a photo, tag, collar, favourite toy, or something that simply reminds you of them. When you’re overwhelmed, open it. Hold one item. Breathe deeply and let the memories surface.
Why it helps: Tangible memory objects can soothe the nervous system and transform emotional pain into connection.
The Healing Power of Movement
When grief feels heavy, the body carries it too.
Gentle movement — stretching, walking, or gardening — helps release tension and promotes endorphins that naturally improve mood.
If you struggle to start, try a simple ritual:
“I walk today for both of us.”
This small intention turns movement into remembrance.
Connecting with Others
Pet grief can feel isolating, especially when those around you don’t understand the depth of your loss. But connection — even quiet, compassionate connection — is one of the strongest healers we have.
Reach out to a friend who has also lost a pet. Join an online support group. Talk with a counsellor who acknowledges pet bereavement as valid and significant.
You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Practical Activity: The Memory Sharing Ritual
Gather a few people who knew your pet — family, friends, or even neighbours.
Each person shares one short memory. End with a collective toast, photo, or gentle silence.
This small ritual transforms grief from private pain into shared love.
The Path Toward Pet Fullness
At Pause for Paws, we see acceptance not as a straight line, but as a spiral — a return to love, again and again.
Through Pet Fullness, we explore grief as a process of re-connection: with yourself, with your values, and with the enduring bond you share with your pet.
You’re not moving on.
You’re moving with love.
Explore more gentle guidance in the Pause for Paws Pet Fullness Program.